You Be The Judge: Should My Girlfriend’s Dog Stop Sleeping In Our Bed? | life and style

The charge: Ronnie

Luna is always on our mattress at night, and I think that’s disgusting. She has a dog bed downstairs

I just bought a house and my girlfriend Tilda spends most nights with her little dog, Luna. I really like Luna. He is a Jack Russell terrier and very friendly. She’s allowed anywhere in the house – except, if I wanted to, the bed. Tilda disagrees.

I haven’t had a chance to buy a bed frame since I moved in, and Luna regularly climbs on our mattress at night. We keep a small dog pillow in the corner of the bedroom and a crate for her downstairs, but Tilda is reluctant to leave her there.

Tilda says, “Luna is no problem, you won’t even notice she’s there.” But during the night the dog will come and sit on your chest and lick your face, before falling asleep on you, which is too much. Of course, you notice when a dog breathes in your face. I have more trouble sleeping because I’m aware of her there. There’s also the issue of hygiene – even though Luna is short-haired and doesn’t shed much, she’s still a dog. It’s disgusting to think of the germs on his claws rubbing off on us and our sheets.

When Tilda and I first met two years ago, I was living with my parents and Tilda with her mother. When Tilda came to hang out with me, she didn’t bring Luna as much, because my parents had their period at home. We couldn’t get the dog upstairs, so Luna stayed in her crate. But now that I’ve bought a house and Tilda and Luna are staying, all the rules seem to be gone.

Now that Luna is used to sleeping with us, it’s hard to get her out. I tried to put my foot down recently, putting her in the crate myself before bed, but she just moans until Tilda asks if we can pick her up and ends up in our bed. It’s a vicious cycle that has affected my sleep.

Tilda needs to be stricter with Luna. He’s her dog, so she needs to have a plan in place so we can all get a good night’s sleep. Tilda hopes to move in full-time soon, but unless we sort this out, I don’t see it working with the three of us under one roof.

A dog’s place is in its own bed, not its owner’s bed.

Defense: Tilda

If Ronnie doesn’t like Luna on the bed, he should buy a bed frame to keep her from jumping up.

I put Luna in confinement when I was single and living alone in France. She was my companion, my rock in difficult times.

I moved back to the UK and met Ronnie two years ago. Luna has always slept in my bed or in my room, so it’s hard to train her to get by. Ronnie loves Luna. He is a magnificent little doggie; sociable, kind and loving and she even responds to his orders.

It’s just sleep that’s the problem. I actually like having her snuggled up against us in bed, but Ronnie thinks it’s disgusting. However, I always make sure Luna is super clean and bathes her regularly.

She certainly doesn’t have fleas, so I don’t know why he’s worried about that. Luna isn’t really losing her hair either and I brush her teeth.

I wish I had him in the duvet with us more often, but Ronnie doesn’t really allow it.

Occasionally she stays in her bed in the corner of our bedroom but I don’t really like putting her in the crate downstairs while she moans.

Ronnie says if I stick with it she’ll get used to it, but her moans strike a chord with me, so I usually give in and let her come back to our room after about an hour. Once she’s in our room, she’s worth gold.

The main reason Luna jumps on the “bed” is because we’re still sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Ronnie hasn’t found a bed frame yet – he says he hasn’t found the time yet, but it’s been five months already.

It might eliminate the temptation if Ronnie invested in a bed frame that would make it harder for Luna to jump on it.

Failing that, I could start training him to sleep further away from us, but I find that sad because I love having him in bed with us.

I used to be happy to obey Ronnie’s parents’ rules, but now that I’m spending more time at his house, I think he could relax a bit.

Luna and I will be living there soon too, so he might have to get used to having it on our furniture.

The Guardian Readers’ Jury

Should Tilda’s dog stop sleeping on the bed?

I too put off buying a bed frame until my early twenties, but since Ronnie is already in the stage of moving in and getting a dog, he needs to buy one as soon as possible. Then he will have the moral authority to kick Luna out of bed (as adorable as she is). Until then, enjoy these face licks.
Joel, 43 years old

I’m sure Luna is a cute dog but it’s unhygienic to have a pet in her bed. The bed frame is a red herring – Tilda must respect Ronnie’s wishes and train Luna to sleep elsewhere.
Veronique, 42 years old

It is unreasonable for Tilda to expect Ronnie to agree to have Luna in her bed. However, it is nearly impossible to train Luna while the mattress is on the floor. Ronnie has to buy a bed frame, then Tilda has to train Luna to sleep in the dog bed.
Sarah, 59 years old

Tilda is guilty. Personally, I’m a fan of sleeping with a puppy, but in a relationship, that decision has to be unanimous. Tilda must push and train Luna. I understand the heartache when the dog cries at night but sleep is important and you shouldn’t play with someone else.
Truth, 23

Tilda doesn’t seem to care about Ronnie’s feelings. Trying to blame him by saying he should buy a bed frame is just plain silly. And you can clean Luna’s teeth all you want, but she’ll still lick her ass!
Joan, 51 years old

you are the judge

So now you can be the judge. In our online poll below, tell us: Should Jilly stop walking away during arguments?

We’ll share the results on the You Be The Judge show next week.

The poll will close on Thursday July 7 at 9:00 a.m. BST

Last week’s result

We asked if Donald should listen to his girlfriend Daisy and close the kitchen cupboards after him.

3% of you said no – Donald is innocent
97% of you said yes – Donald is guilty

Comments are closed.